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A Round Heeled Woman

Jane Juska

(Supposedly autobiographical) JJ born 1933, taught English for more than 40 years high schools colleges and prisons

She goes to a movie which changes her life - a French film about two friends, one married, one single. The married one secretly places an ad for single friend and complications ensue. JJ identifies with the single woman, even though she's 20 years older - independent and stubborn; proud and lonely; divorced and cynical; devoted to her work, she swears she wants nothing to do with men - yet we know that the absence of men in her life, while bearable, is not desirable.

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"Garrison Kellor once wrote that, of all the sensory deprivations, the deprivation of touch is the most severe. I was severely deprived. It was not that I had gone around touching my high school students. But with all those kids coming and going there was bumping, there was rubbing, there was so much life that some of it rubbed off on me. I felt touched even if I wasn't."

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"Psychoanalysis has lately gotten a lot of criticism, often by people who would benefit from it. Talk therapy analysis saved my life and made me rich... I learned not to be scared of me... I could no longer pretend that my life was complete. One of the truths I had had to accept during my years on the couch was that pleasure was not bad, that it was natural for people to desire pleasure, that denying oneself pleasure was not healthy. This was contrary to the teachings of my mother - so it was no easy task to realize and accept that I liked men."

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Places classified ad in New York Review of Books "Before I turn 67 - next March - I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me. NYR Box...." (at $4.55 a word...)

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Reputation Control .........................................................................................Client William Flew