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Are We There Yet?

Rachel Weiss with Julie Adams

Are you single? We are, and we're not happy about it. We have regular lives with no domestic dramas, and we never have The Great Toilet Seat Debate. But there are many very annoying things about being a single girl. No sex for a start. No one to stay at home with on a Saturday night. No one to complain to during the week ... and you have to do everything for yourself.

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But then you make a complete klutz of yourself when a rare candidate appears. Jules tends to get out and about and meet people so she gets to have her hopes dashed frequently and her heart broken periodically. Rach avoids this by studiously ignoring social activities. That way she is magnificently unprepared for the shock of meeting a potential candidate. This lack of match practice means Rach manages to bring shame and ignominy on her family by the lengths to which desperation will drive her on those rare occasions she meets a man she actually likes.

I thought I'd delay having children and put my youthful energy to really good use - like partying myself senseless all over the world. I thought I'd wait until l found my twin soul, the man who had everything - good looks, a good job, money, sense of humour, pleasant nature, world-class sexual technique, engaging conversationalist, sensitive, deep, artistic, emotionally mature ....

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To my amazement, most men who fell into the 'possible' category were married. Or gay. Or, in Sydney,both.

Left in the 'available' category were the poor sods with zero social skills. l'd pity them but then l'd remember that they are the ones who buy young mail-order brides to get someone to love them the easy way. They're having sex. I have superb social skills and no sex. Who's laughing now?

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