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Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Scott Adams

Weasels Are From Venus

There are two types of women: the ones who are currently in discomfort, and the ones who are actively seeking it. The most popular causes of the first group are childbirth, menstruation, men and wearing bad shoes. The second group include women who feel fine but are planning to watch sad movies, pick fights with men over things they didn't mean to say, and shop for uncomfortable shoes.

Scott Adams has a fairly negative view of women

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Men are comfort seekers and discomfort avoiders. I think I speak for most men when I say we only enjoy pain when it happens to other people, also known as entertainment. To illustrate my point, consider these two choices for things to do on a Saturday evening:

Sit on a comfortable couch and watch TV while sipping chilled adult beverages


Drive for two hours to visit people who only talk about their children and their health problems.

A woman - because women are more 'social' - will choose a night of immense anguish followed by a long drive home while recapping the more dreadful points in the discussion in case the man succeeded in not listening the first time.

If a man has no reason to fight with a woman she will sense this void and talk nonstop until some sort of pain is generated. For example, the man might try to doze off or change the subject. That's proof that he doesn't care about the woman, and it's grounds for a fight.

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A thought expt: Imagine two individuals who have equal talent and experience. They are both given the goal of running to the top of a mountain. The only difference between the two is that one desperately wants to get to the top of the mountain because he thinks it will help him get sex later. The other one would be happier complaining about how untidy the path is. Which do you think will get to the top of the mt quicker?

The PC verdict is that women hit the glass ceiling because of discrimination.

Lets' try another thought expt. This time its man vs woman in an ass-kissing contest. They walk into a large building which has a long long line of fat, middle-aged men bent over with their trousers dropped to the floor, presenting their rumps for kissing. The one who can get the furtherest down the line without throwing up will become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. At this point the woman will organize a committee to consider the correct form of protest at this blatant sexism, while the man is halfway down the line, kissing every cheek and slipping his business card into every crack. Years later a survey will show that all the CEO's of major companies are men, and the women will conclude that it is discrimination holding them back.

Not many women have a goal of being CEO of a major company. Instead they prefer careers that involve hanging around with people who are suffering, presumably so they can watch. For example, women are prominent in health care, where they can watch people die, or in law, where they can watch people get sued or executed.

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