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Disorder In The Court

Fractured Moments In Courtroom History

Charles Sevilla

COUNSEL: But you were able to see his penis?
WITNESS: I saw the shape of it, like a shadow
COUNSEL: Well, I want to try to determine whether he was circumsized or not.let me ask you this - do you know what a German helmet looks like?
WITNESS:(no response)

COUNSEL: Do you know what a foreskin is?
WITNESS:(witness shakes head)
COUNSEL: I will draw a diagram and ask you to compare what it looks like. (Draws picture)
COURT: It's obvious that art was not one of your major subjects, Counsel
COUNSEL: Did it look like it was wearing a German helmet or a turtleneck sweater?


COUNSEL: Between 1980 and 1989 what were you doing?
WITNESS: I was working as a professional wrestler in Puerto Rico
COUNSEL: Is that like Olympic wrestling?
WITNESS: No, like World Wrestling Federation
COUNSEL: Let me ask one question I have always wanted to know. Is that real wrestling?
WITNESS: It's real for us you know? But we know who is going to win before.
PROSECUTION: I object, your honour. COURT: On what basis? PROSECUTION: I withdraw COUNSEL: Would you like to demonstrate the sleeper hold on the prosecutor?
WITNESS: I could do that


DEFENDANT: I hate coming out here at seven in the morning and having to sit downstairs with a bunch of criminals.
COURT: I have to do the same thing every day
DEFENDANT: Yeah, but you don't have to sit down in a holding tank with 'em
COURT: Every day I come in and meet the dregs of society, and then I have to meet their clients. Think of that.

COURT: Counsel, I am going to ask that unless you have a throat lozenge, that you do not eat candy in the courtroom
COUNSEL: I have Rolaids
COURT: Rolaids?
COUNSEL: Consumes 47 times its weight in excess stomach acid, and I have stomach acid.
COURT: You are giving the court stomach acid.
COUNSEL: I have two left.

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