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How To Invent Everything

Ryan North

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What if something goes wrong with my time machine?

In the event of catastrophic failure of your time machine, please refer to the convenient repair guide, which follows this page.

REPAIR GUIDE: There are no user-serviceable parts inside the FC-3000.

If you would like to make peace with the idea that you will never return to your family and friends, please do so now. It helps to focus on the things you didn't like about them, such as their irritating habits and weird smells. Do not focus on the things you will miss, like cheap, convenient and clean drinking water.

Pickle your food in brine (just salt and water). Cut up your food and submerge it witha rock or something so can't reach surface. In oxygen free brine your vegetables will ferment, a process in which 'good' bacteria feed on sugars in food, producing vinegar that makes them sour but also less vulnerable to bad bacteria that will allow food to spoil.

If you have a surplus of vinegar, you can preserve foods directly. Cheese is just preserved milk. Make it by adding about 120ml of vinegar to a litre of boiling milk. The vinegar curdles the milk, causing delicious curds to separate out, leaving behind a yellowy liquid called whey. Drain and press curds in a roll of cloth and you've made a cheese that won't spoil for weeks. Soak it in brine and it will last even longer.

Unpasteurized milk is one of most dangerous liquids to drink, bc bacteria, partic tuberculosis bacteria, love it. Heat the milk to just under boiling point - 16 seconds at 72℃ is enough.

If there's not enough oxygen around, yeast will be unable to break down all the sugars in your grain, producing alcohol as a waste product. Instead of baking your yeast and grains, you ferment them. Without oxygen, you get two waste products - carbon dioxide, which makes beer bubbly, and alcohol, which makes beer popular.

The trick is to get your grains to germinate first. Soak them, then dry them a few times and they will start to sprout. This process transforms the starches in the grains into sugars, making it softer and sweeter, and more digestible. Next step is to halt germination by roasting the seeds, which adds more flavour (this is malting)

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