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Live Right and Find Happiness

(Although Beer Is Much Faster)

Dave Barry

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Money can buy you happiness, if you have a lot. Your family and friends will love you more, and if they don't, you can afford to have them whacked and get a whole new set of family and friends.

Driving in Miami scary bc of all elderly drivers who are technically blind, and all the teenagers, who are technically, and using the correct neurological term, stupid. When we were young we drove safely, bc we drove our mothers' cars which were incapable of going as fast as they did on the assembly line. If you try to drive at the speed limit in Florida you are likely to become the target of small-arms fire. Miami drivers go faster than 30mph in a car wash.

Any food you eat while driving should be something you can eat one-handed, so you will have a hand free for texting.

Our parents never felt obliged to be 24/7 parents - this all-consuming job we have created, featuring many crucial child-rearing requirements that my parents' generation was blissfully unaware of. They didn't worry about their kids getting bored or 'left behind' so they didn't schedule endless after-school activities and stand around with other parents watching their kids engage in those activities.

So us Boomers have got really really good at parenting, which makes it seem strange that our kids seem to struggle to get a foothold on life, and are still living with us at 37.

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