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Warm Hearts Cold Cash
More books on Money
Ironic that in the world of commerce we have elborate laws and contracts to protect dealings between business partners, but no such rules for dealing with our family.
Until recently middle classes didn't have huge savings to pass on to kids. Main legacy was education.
And, until recently, that was seen as end of need for support - once finished uni they were on their own. But today financially dependant on parents for graduate degrees, house deposits, startup funding for businesses, and even living expenses if impoverished by divorce.
As both Shakespeare and Marx have observed, an ugly man with money can buy a beautiful woman, and not suffer the consequences of being ugly. Money has effectively given him a new face.
Money the primary source of power in a relationship. Allows us to control other people or be free of them.
Everyone jokes about couples who renovate their homes just before divorcing, but it's not the upheaval of construction that causes people to part, but rather the prior tensions that caused them to make one last stab of solidarity.
In families there is constant accounting, both emotional and financial, with deep expectations and definite, but unspoken, rules of exchange. What may start as a grievance over attention or love that was desired and not received is often converted into a financial debit.
People go into marriage believing it's all about love, but when love evaporates, there's only money left to divide and fight over.
Woman justified her decision to keep half of her husband's inheritance, even though she was divorcing him bc he's ended up in a mental hospital. For years she had toiled to live with his depressions and to prop him up. "If it hadn't been for her, he'd never have sustained his relationship with his parents and collected his inheritance.
DH Lawrence story: "The Rocking Horse Winner" about a little boy who overhears his wasteful parents complaining about money woes. The child discovers a magical way to help: by rocking on his horse he was able ot conjure up the name of winning race horse. Using the family butler to plasce his bets, he sneaks winnings into family coffers. But the family spending just escalates, and he has to work harder and harder, until finally he rocks himself into exhaustion and dies.
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