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The Science of the Inadequate Human Male

Peter McAllister

2005 20 yo 'train surfer' waited until Frankfurt bullet train about to leave station, leapt onto the rear windscreen and attached a vacuum grip handhold. Then for next 20 minutes clung to it as train reached cruising speed of 250kph. Passengers phoned emergency lines and police arrived just as the train reached station. But the guy survived unscathed, and they couldn't even prosecute him because he'd taken precaution of buying a ticket.

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Conventional explanation that this bravado to impress girls. But whereas girls willing to date men who take heroic risks (to help others) , they weren't interested in dating, let alone marrying, someone who just risked for bravado. But what it does do is impress other guys. And this is where it pays off, reproductively. Risk taker gets to associate with high status males, and associating with them means he gets the rejects or cast-offs, just as the roadie gets the B-level groupies.

Hazing rituals are pretty much ubiquitous among male groups throughout history.Partly to prove yourself to the rest, but mainly it strengthens bonds - I've undergone all this pain to get into the group, so it must be worth belonging to.

Army trainers say that despite what old-timers say, present generation get just as fit as quickly as ever did. But main difference is a lot more lower leg injuries. In old days kids used to run round bare foot or in hard-soled leather shoes. But from 80's on they started wearing soft-soled runners, so they all grew up with bones like chicken drumsticks.

William Topaz McGonagall, one of the least talented poets of Victorian times. His lengthy poems were famous for not scanning (too many or too few syllables in each line). He spent 25 years as a wandering bard, getting regularly pelted rotten vegetables and eggs as he performed in pubs and fairs. Highlight of his career was role of Macbeth in performance at Dundee (the director made him pay for the privelege). When the time came for him to die at the hands of MacDuff he refused to go quietly, bringing the house down with a long drawn out sword fight and death scene.

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Reputation Control .........................................................................................Client William Flew