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Past Mortem

Ben Elton

Protagonist is Detective Inspector Edward Newson, 34 yo 5 foot 4 inch "ginger shortarse" who "didn't look like what people think a policeman should look like"

Investigates series murders in which obviously unpopular people are killed in bizarre ways.

First victim killed over several hours by being punctured with a school compass - killer used anti-coagulants to keep the blood flowing, and smelling salts to keep the victim awake while he bled to death. The victim was feared and hated by everyone who knew him.

Gets vital clue when he plans going to own school reunion and reads Friends Reunited entry 'Answering Back' from a gay boy tormented at school.

Next victim had been a Page 3 Girl (ie someone prepared to get her tits out for newspaper pics). Killer had taped her to a chair, sliced her lip open, stacked mirrors all around her and left her to die of thirst and starvation. Turned out later that she had bullied a classmate who had a harelip.

Third victim had picked on a 'ginger' at school. She died in a bathtub full of bleach that scoured her tanned skin. Killer had broken her spine so she couldn't move, and had carefully dyed both her hair and her pubic hair orange. And then he killed her by making her drink the bleach.

Eventually turns out that the vigilante killer was wreaking revenge via Friends Reunited postings, and killing bullies in way that they had bullied.

What memories do you have of school days? Anyone you still want revenge on?

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