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Sex Life

Pamela Anderson

Another therapy book where the case notes get recycled into literature

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It's always the same pattern. Clockwork. He does half a minute of perfunctionary twiddling upstairs, then it's down to the basement for four minutes of grinding, and Bob's your uncle. I keep wanting to say something, but quite honestly, I'm pretty busy too.

'My wife thought I was a competent lover, and she taught me how to do things the way she like it. But after we divorced, I met a woman who made me feel like I was the best lover in the world. Then I noticed an improvement in my prowess, and I was willing to try all kinds of things I'd avoided in the past.

His finest hour lasted a minute-and-a-half.

Men. They either come too quickly, or take too long. Premature ejaculators or oh-my-god-the-ceiling-needs-painting ejaculators.

I once made love for an hour and a quarter, but it was the night they put the clocks forward.

(Britt Ekland)Warren Beatty could handle women as smoothly as operating an elevator. He knew exactly where to find the top button. One flick and we were on our way.

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