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Who's Who In Hell

Robert Chambers

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Daniel is an obituary writer. One of his fellow writers is fired for changing headline on an obit he wrote on death of newspaper's foreign correspondent, who was notorious for taking himself too seriously, and thinking himself a mover-and-shaker despite really being no more than middle class bore from Acton. The editor wanted the headline to read "Man of Action" but the writer had yielded to irresistible temptation and changed it to "Man of Acton", for which he is dumped. "You mad fucker" says Daniel "Was it really worth getting sacked for something that only a hundred people would understand?" "Ah" says Peerless "But just think of the joy for the hundred."

Obituaries used to obey a code of glossing over less salubrious aspectsof individual. Dylan Thomas died without any of his obituaries evn mentioning the fact that he enjoyed abeer. Things like "He never married" could mean anything from a lifetime spent cruising the public toilets of the free worldto ... well... he never married.

Daniel falls in love with Laura. Her ex-boyfriend writes him a letter describing the night when, in a sick fever, she called out his name - this surprised and moved him - but then she continued with ...Peter ... Andre ...Stewart ... etc

Laura's friend Kate comes to stay. She has to go shopping because she has no clothes. "Why not?" 'Because I threw away all my size 10's so I'd fit into my size 8's' "And? " W'ell no, I don't even think I fit my size 10's." Kate also screws other guys while her husband's away. "Why did you marry Bob?" 'Well I think it was like when I threw away all my size 10's. I thought one bold step would make me better.'

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