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Dave Barry Is From Mars and Venus

Dave Barry

"I remain in superb physical condition for a man of my age who can no longer fit into his pants. I have definitely been gaining some weight in the midriff region, despite a rigorous diet regime of drinking absolutely no beer whatsoever after I pass out. The only lower body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels, which I find myself wearing in more and more social settings. I'm thinking of getting a black one for funerals."

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