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The Bastard On The Couch

ed Daniel Jones

(husband of Cathy Hanauer of The Bitch In The House)

"Like a lot of men I've always put sex high on the list of domestic prerequisites, somewhere between food and basic cable, so I was surprised when trajectory of our sex life spiralled from nightly to weekly to "what's wrong with you"

Helen Gurley Brown reckoned that couple should keep marriage spiced up by the wife occasionally meeting him at the door in a negligee and carrying a bottle of champagne. "But in fact what my (editor) wife wants after 10 hours of meetings is a chicken roasted in olive oil and lemon, and this I duly provide for her."

Woman's joke that ideal man will make love to you until midnight then turn into box of chocs - my wife wd skip the sex and go straight for the chocs.

Each side yelling at each other "What's the Big Deal?" He meaning why can't we just have sex?, She meaning, why can't you stop bothering me? But without my resilient desire, what wd our marriage be? A book club?

If I were a woman, I wouldn't want my future happiness and peace of mind to depend on a man's ability to improve his clairvoyance as to what needs to be done around the house.

How did we get priced out of our lives? My mother wd say that she didn't have to have a fancy kitchen or a second car, or spend $30 a week on coffee and $200 a month on cell phones and internet and sky tv. maybe it's just as simple as that it's not our lives we can't afford; it's our aspirations.

One couple, both of whom worked from home, tried to do the egalitarian child-rearing, house keeping marriage, but found they were descending into recriminations and resentments So they took turns, week about, at being mother, while the other did the high-earner come home and relax trick. The earner could sit on couch and read a mag, completely ignoring the kids having a melt down and spaghetti boiling over.

How come there's no clinic men can go to where they can terminate their paternity.

Country music song "The Truth About Men" with lyrics "We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry and it's probably going to happen again"

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